Today I ventured into Coronaville. I think I pulled an eye muscle from rolling my eyes and/or glaring at people. Here are my observations:
1. Just like leggings, masks come in multiple sizes. If you have flesh spilling out the sides you’re probably wearing the wrong size.
2. Corona cannot enter your body through your chin. Seriously why would you wear a mask on your chin?
3. You know the teenagers who walk around with their pants hanging down their butts? That’s what you look like when your mask is only covering your mouth. It’s too small? Did the good lawd bless you with an extra large nose? Have you refused to shave your hipster beard? See #1 or learn to sew.
4. If you’re going to walk around wearing your mask incorrectly or without a mask at least keep your mouth shut and stay out of my way.
5. To the lady in the kids section, that cough didn’t sound good. You might want to head to Vandy forthwith. Thank you for wearing a mask though. You had me doing all kinds of geometry and particle science (is that a thing?) to exit the store without entering your space.
6. To anyone who I glared at and/or rolled my eyes at today, yes I was judging you.
7. If your little kids are going to talk so loud please give them a mask. Those little suckers can be carriers. Also, see #1.
8. Put your mask on in the car before you step out in the parking lot. I do not want to be doing the shuffle at the entrance to the store because you’re trying to find your mask in your pocket or untangle it from your arm/purse.
9. Walmart is still a circus with groceries.
Drawing of 1918 Spanish flu pandemic mask wearer available on my website. charcoalatte.com/shop